Since I said Goodbye to Full Time Work

It's been a year since I packed my boxes and shed a few tears walking out of my office at the Biblical Recorder. I was on to new adventures I told myself. I was on to becoming a wife to the Mr. It didn't take much packing or preparation. In fact, I only had one box. I never was one to really bring a lot into the office. My staff surrounded me with a few celebrations bidding me farewell. Though I walked out of that door a year ago, I've never looked back.

Very early on in my relationship with Jeremy, we discussed my desire to be a full time wife and mother. I didn't exactly know that he would be the one I'd be the wife to at that time. Hello, it was literally probably two weeks in to the whole escapade. But I wanted to be honest when the discussion topic found its way into our conversations. On the day I left the BR and full time work behind, I remembered the desires I was heading toward. That's why I've never looked back.

Since saying goodbye to full time work, the transition wasn't always easy. It still isn't some days; however, those days are few and far between. I wanted to make my own money. I wanted to contribute to the income. What would it look like for me to stay at home and serve my family? Would I feel valued? Would I contribute anything to the home? I felt selfish for wanting to purchase a top or dress with our money. The lies of satan are FIERCE when it comes to making the decision to leave full time work in the corporate sense to full time work in the home. I vividly remember mopping the floor and thinking "this is all I do." Now I would say - "You're darn right! That's what I do.. I want a clean house." I recently read an article about the home and it being a place of relaxation from the world. This is my task- to comfort us when the world is crazy. And we all know it's just that-- crazy. Sweetly Jeremy was always encouraging and brought me "back to earth" and grounded me as we navigated the newlywed waters during the first several months. Truth is, I love being in this home. I love this being my full time job. Because let's be real, maintaining a home is not easy.

On the other side saying goodbye to full time work, the transition was easy. I didn't want to punch a clock. I wanted to create a schedule of my own. I wanted time to create in the kitchen and be involved in Bible study during the day with ladies instead of at night when Jeremy is home. We actually have a few commitments at night. But I seriously wanted - sleep, working out and Bible reading to be on my schedule and not crunched in. Praise!

I've enjoyed saying goodbye to full time work. I've enjoyed navigating the waters of becoming a wife. Now that I've gotten a semi-handle on things I've started working part time. This has just been for enjoyment and meeting new people and not to add to the income as a main focus. My friend Torri said I should do something I love if I don't have to work, and that is exactly what I've started doing. The History-lover is satisfied. The semi extrovert is satisfied.

Since I've said goodbye to full time work, all is well. Thank you Jeremy for being my provider here on earth and allowing me to fulfill my desires of being a homemaker and thus saying goodbye to full time work.

Stop Praying for your Future Husband

"Girlfriend, you better stop praying for a husband, if you don't write this boy back."

That's exactly what the fiery red-head, Mrs. Bush, told me as I sat propped up on one of her kitchen stools. She was by the sink and had been listening to all the essential details I was sharing about this young man who had emailed me asking to get to know me better. I'd been posted on Kelly's Korner three months prior, and he was just getting around to seeing the site. Of all 184 posts, I was the one he decided to email. He was an engineer in the Army and was moving to West Point. He loved God and had taken some seminary classes to increase His understanding of the Word and theology. He had two Master's degrees and was a former baseball player.

I, on the other hand, sat there browsing the credentials as a skeptical young woman- fearing a lack of attraction, fearing conversation, fearing the Army and fearing New York aka the distance factor. Mrs. Bush who I had lived with for quite a few months knew all of my fears and hesitations before I could even voice them. Though she knew them to be understandable and within reason, her boldest statement to date flowed off the tip of her tongue - "Stop praying..." There were more words to it than that, but I couldn't hear them. Had she really just said that? That's not in Scripture? How dare she?

Yet, I'm thankful for her harsh words and encouragement. For years I'd prayed for a man who would lead me spiritually, who would pursue, who was handsome and kind. To be honest, the baseball deal was not hurting his chances. My prayers were neatly written in a journal I'd been keeping since 2009. I was hesitant because I did not have the energy to invest in one more failed "go" at a relationship. Haven't we all felt that way? But Mrs. Bush was trying to show me that God had placed this man in my path for that moment. We didn't know how long he would be around or if a relationship would even develop. But the opportunity was there - a fine young man was there- and I needed to be open to what was in front of me. This was the Lord's will for me - to what end, we did not know. Her one-liner was not meant to sting me, but it was meant to show me that God was answering my very prayers with this man. I didn't need to ignore His answer, though it didn't come in the neat package I wanted (at first). If I chose to ignore God's gifts, then I needed to stop praying to receive them. She was good. She was wise.

And with that I emailed Him back. Surrendering the will comes in many different forms. I believe the Lord uses many circumstances to show us more and more ways where we hold up our own will against His. By emailing this suitor back I was surrendering my will of what I had set my boundaries for dating to be. I surrendered my plans and opened them to the possibilities of what God had in store. With that came much relief and much learning; much yielding and more surrendering.

On the cusp of this sweet man's birthday, to Jeremy I say this: You gave me the reason to stop praying for my future husband because in you my prayers for a husband were answered -completely and immeasurably more. I love you.

The Will of God

Discerning the will of God. It seems to be the hot topic these days. With our sermon on Sunday about Ruth 3 and taking steps of faith and then our small group discussion last night centering on this very subject, I thought I'd take a minute to share my own thoughts on discerning the will of God.

I used to be the person who would run to Lifeway and find a book about whatever topic was the struggle of the day - worry, anxiety, relationships etc. There were too many of those books, and I quickly realized the "help" books were not helping and needed to be tossed. I found I had quite the collection! I wanted the books rather than THE Book to help solve all of my life's problems and show me the will of God for the day.

I believe our generation, now more than any previous generation, has gotten caught up in discerning the will of God. Jeremy and I were talking about this very thing last night with our small group, and I believe he is absolutely right about this. I paraphrase: Our generation has over-spiritualized discerning the will of God to the point that we have an extreme failure to launch and are paralyzed to make decisions. I have added in the paralysis because I believe that to be true as well. The question was asked last night: Is asking if this event/circumstance is the will of God a bad question? I will briefly share my response.

I absolutely think it can be a bad question. I don't think it is a wrong question. I think it can be a good question. Let me explain I think it's good in the sense that should a concern or situation come up in our lives we should absolutely seek the counsel of His Word, pray about it and seek the counsel of others. If one of those three do not line up with moving forward, then I believe the Lord is directing elsewhere. If they do, then move forward. It's the will of God. (Jeremy loves Kevin DeYoung's "Just Do Something".) I think it can be absolutely bad when we ask this question for every decision we make in life (I exaggerate, but you get it). We ask these questions so much that we barely move (exaggeration again). God has given us a brain and created us in His image to reason, and thus that should be used.

What's the point of all this? The will of God is now. If you are a Christian and walking in the light, then God's will is playing out for your life at this very moment. Jim Elliot is noted for saying 2 important quotes about this: "Wherever you are, be all there" and "Live every moment to the hilt you believe to be the will of God." Folks, that time is now. You are outside of the will of God when you are walking in rebellion and opposition to Him. However, if you are submitting to Him and His Lordship the will of God is this very moment! It's NOW! - it's me sitting here typing this blog while my husband is at work. It's you acting on faith in the purchase of a house or a car or whatever the case may be. It's you acting on faith to take a trip and spend time sharing the gospel in another nation. The will of God is good and perfect (Romans 12:2b). Live this moment to the very extreme and know the joy of His will. I wasted too many hours that accumulated to days worrying about my life in the future - marriage, job, living situation etc. There are times when I even regret it. There were times I knew I would regret how much time I wasted worrying about this and that  (Still do!)

I haven't mastered this and I don't foresee mastery until glorification. Yet, the continual sanctification of the Holy Spirit is constantly convicting me of where my will gets in the way of His will. He shows me where fear prevents me from walking according to His plans. He shows me where grace moves me forward. He is sovereign over every area of life - not just the spiritual. If we believe that to be so and act on that faithfully, there will be a contentment and rest like we've never understood before - because we are trusting Him.

I'll end on this note. It's a passage Jeremy shared last night. I'm thankful my husband loves the Word.

The plans of the heart belong to man, 

but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.

The heart of man plans his way,

but the LORD establishes His step.

Proverbs 16: 1,9

Let us keep in step with His way, His will.

All about that Love - Valentine's Day 2016

As a single girl, I'm fairly certain I had all of these grand expectations of Valentine's Day with a significant other. I'd only been in one relationship during this love holiday prior to dating Jeremy. Truth be told, it's everything I've always hoped it be. And at the same time, it's more than I ever could've imagined. A love between a husband and wife isn't something you celebrate just one day out of the year, but it's every day. I get to do this every day! 

My heart was so heavy for my single friends this Valentine's Day. I want them to know this love. I want them to experience life with a husband. But I also want them to know that God is perfect in His timing. We (and I) always want to rush love. There is truth to Solomon's words of not awakening love until it is time. Our God knows exactly the plans He has for us. So easy to say, yet so hard to trust. We can't see the future or even catch a glimpse. Most days, I am greatly thankful for that. We must live each day trusting that He knows what is for our good today. Tomorrow will worry about itself. And for that I am steadfastly praying for my single friends - to be satisfied in Him alone, to trust in His timing, to find rest In Him when we are restless. It hasn't been long since I was single, and I remember that time well. I grieve over the time I spent hoping and wishing and wanting because it was wasted time. Jeremy came into my life to be my husband when I resigned myself let go of my will and trust the Lord's provision as a single or married. What a lesson to learn after years of heartache! He redeems the time...

Our Valentine's Day was spent consuming embarrasing amounts of Dunkin Donuts; eating at our favorite little diner; watching The Choice; and, eating a nice little steak and pasta dinner on the actual celebration day! We did find time to complete our galley wall, yet one photo is missing. I sit and stare at this wall like it's from a museum or something! We also managed to create a ditty of a music video to "Die a Happy Man". Jeremy entertains some of my whims in exchange for a nice meal or two. For that, I am grateful - He embraces my silly and plays along when possible. Thank you, Jeremy, for making me your life and loving me well!

Life at the Point

We are rolling into another week and nearing the end of January! If you've been around these parts for a while, you know I'm a happy camper and birds chirp and flowers bloom when February and January are dunzo.

The week has been busy. This is our life at the Point:

Last weekend, I mentioned Candie came to visit, but forgot to share this picture of me and Jeremy. Here we are at the actual Trophy Point on campus. 

When you have a Skype date with M, and she's like "Who are you again?"

MLK Day is a day off for the Mr. That meant a quick jaunt or 45 minute drive over to the nearest Chickfila and an afternoon full of One Tree Hill. I may have had a good cry or two or four. 

When you're on a tour of the historic Thayer Hotel at WP, and you enter the Army Baseball Suite. Then you proceed to stalk the whole room for a picture of your husband. When you find him, you proudly proclaim to the whole room, "That's my husband!"

#cleetchaser

When your Canada-transplant friend texts to ask how you're handling the snow, this is what you send back:

No hate here!

On Friday, some friends from WP and I decided to take a trip to the Culinary Institute. This was my second visit and for some reason I failed to take pictures on the first go round. What I failed at in first visit, I made up for in the second.  

And finally, with the coming of the snow FINALLY, we reached a milestone of being back at a 5:00 PM sunset. I thought I'd never see it again, and I'm already feeling like Spring is a moment away!

With a snowfall and iced over Hudson, we managed to get to the DD and get the goods- Boston Kreme and Blueberry donuts. Nothing's going to stop us now.

Happy Weekend fine folks!

Immeasurably More: Thankful

This marriage thing. This moving to New York thing. This becoming a wife thing. This moving to the North thing. This no friends thing. All of that got the best of me on Wednesday morning. It resulted in me bawling my eyeballs out next to Jeremy in his truck. I mean, it was what he called the crocodile tears. They wouldn't stop. I liken it to a melt down. And though, I am a frequent cryer. This seemed like the moment that all just got out. You know those moments, where it's like you finally breathe but really it's more of a cry. I say this to let you know that it's not always rainbows and unicorns in these parts. Yes, it's grand and I love being married to my best friend. But sometimes I make it hard. When I make it hard, my vision is distorted. I turn into myself and I just flail. I'm not quite even sure what I was crying about at that moment - probably the whole being a wife and being new at the game and finding her place in life and loving it. It was that cry, and it happened.

And I'm certainly not the best at getting when God is trying to speak to me. My own voice crowds out His. But today, I took a brief moment to just pray. Instead of praying, it's more of a talking to God. You see, I've dealt with a significant amount of doubt here lately in my life. For the life of my I can't understand why God has led me to this place. In the moment this afternoon, I just shrugged and began praying. But I started by thanking Him. I'm trying to make this a greater practice because if not then I spiral to the have not. I wrote about this earlier in the week. As I started to list off some Thank-Yous, I began crying just a little bit more. It went something like this-

* A wonderful husband who loves me with everything He has. He wants the best for me and points me to the Lord constantly.

* The opportunity to stay at home and not have to work. (This is something I've always wanted to do, but never thought possible.)

* A beautiful home that overlooks the Hudson River where I am able to wake up every morning and just marvel at His works.

* A home that even has sky lights in every room to help with my love of sunshine.

* The opportunity to be involved in BCM and impact the lives of cadets.

* Our church that focuses on loving God and loving their community and is a part of the SBC.

* A church that knows all about OCC.

* A group of women and a BIBLE study on West Point where I've been able to meet women who love Jesus.

* Making friends and going to lunch and craft days - two gals who have welcomed me to WP and made me feel like not so much of a loner.

* A gym where I can work out even when it's cold. 

* Connections that are being made so that I can make MORE friends.

And then His voice came, it said: IMMEASURABLY MORE. And I can't imagine life without Him. I can't imagine turning away from Him. I can't imagine not walking with and trusting my God who has done immeasurably more than all I've ever asked. And then I think - there may be doubts daily. Who are you God? Am I really saved? Do I believe all of this matters? And the simple prayer I prayed two years ago to see immeasurably more will continue to be answered - He will show me immeasurably more of Himself through my own doubts. And for that I am thankful. 

Veteran's Day Late Than Never

See what I did there?

We actually did celebrate Veteran's Day on the 11th, but the post is a little late! Veteran's Day takes on a whole other meaning than just a day off when you are married to a Veteran. After their committed and faithful service to our nation, many restaurants offer free meals to the veterans. Jeremy had the day off, of course, so we did what veterans do.

I made this cute sign for Jeremy to greet him in the morning! I'm all about cute signs and used to leave Amanda some when we lived together. Now, it's on to the better roommate and permanent one and more handsome one! Yes, the flag is backward. The backward flag is worn on the Army uniform. It means "always moving forward." (Imagine the flag blowing in the breeze moving forward.) And you say, "Ahhhhh got it."

We were having some work done to our home, so we stayed out pretty much all day which most nearly translates to food, food and more food. Jeremy was excited about his Red, White, Blue breakfast from IHOP! We also ate Chili's for lunch. I wasn't complaining about a) having Jeremy home during the week and b) eating like this.

Thankful for this guy and his service to our country! You deserve more than a free breakfast! I love you!

How I Met Your Mother.. Except Not

Every time I go to see Jeremy, we end up watching a few episodes of "How I Met Your Mother." I never watched the show when it was in the prime of its life on CBS. That seems to be the case for me. I catch on to a show years later. The same can be said of 90210, Friends, and Dawson's Creek. So watching this show, I've found it be to quite interesting and addicting and possibly making a commitment sans being in Newburgh. But today's post is not about that at all. Didn't you read the "Except Not" in the title?

Today's post is about... How I Met Jeremy. It's the cool, new spin-off that everyone's talking about! (I've been meaning to write this post for a while.. and the title of the post finally came.)

This is the story all about how - Wait! Wrong show. Anyway. My friend Kathryn at Hand Me Down Style and I were having dinner with friends one night. I was probably going on and on about being single and not wanting to do Eharmony. I'm not absolutely certain that was how the conversation went down, but I do know we were planning a bday party for Kelly and that I mentioned NO to Eharmony. The next day Kelly's Korner hosted Show Us Your Singles. She does this every now and then. Friends can write about their single friends (girls or guys) for all the world to see. Kathryn texted and asked if I would be okay with her posting me. Hmmm.. It took a few minutes, but okay why not? I sent some pictures over and a post soon went up. Mind you, this was January. The week went by, and there were no comments. No big deal. Moving right along. Kelly continued to post other random things about her life. Kathryn posted other random things about her life. And I continued to post on my own blog. Life goes on right? That's another show too!

Well, fast forward it to April. I'm out with friends late one night. I've had a cheeseburger for dinner. Life is good. Amanda and I've walked over to this rooftop bar - a water for me and less than appealing conversation otherwise. I look down and have an email from Kathryn that she's forwarded. It says "Show Us Your Singles - A little late." Ummm.. what? I didn't read the email until I got home that night, and read it several more times. I finally decided to email this guy back and keep my Cadbury eggs. He found me 3 months later! He isn't an avid reader of Kelly's Korner, but a friend told him about the whole singles deal. One email led to another.. then another.. then there were phone calls. And we finally met in Atlanta on my birthday! There was a very long hall to walk down to meet this guy, who I'd only seen in pictures and heard his voice. Thankfully.. very thankfully.. he was not standing at the end of the hallway. That would have been nerve-wracking city! But he was to the side. I turned the corner. Breathed a deep sigh of relief. Jeremy was handsome! And my date for the night!...

And here we are 9 months later! Very thankful for this guy!
(Also it should be noted that blog reading has paid off in this fashion.)