He's Just That Into You

Each week I have the opportunity of serving a meal to a group of forty to fifty female cadets as part of a Christian ladies luncheon during their normal lunch hour. The ladies file in, grab their meal from the buffet, and then head to an assembly room for a brief message that focuses on principles of the Christian faith and their walk with the Lord. This past week as I was eyeing the salad bowl and debating in my mind whether or not I should add more lettuce and such to the bowl, I heard it. And then the debate in my mind switched gears - Should I say something? Do I interrupt? These girls don't know me.. do I have any weight in this conversation? An iron in the fire?  But the talk continued:

Female 1: I went home and bought it. It's a legit book. Stuff like that happens.
Female 2: Have you seen the movie?
Female 3 (who came into conversation late): Are you talking about "He's Just Not That Into You."
Female 1: Yes, It's so good. And that's how guys are.

I couldn't take it any longer and had to interrupt. I, myself, had owned the book at one point in life. I knew what it contained and easily convinced myself to throw the thing away knowing there was nothing biblical within the confines of the front and back cover.

These books - He's Just Not That Into You, Fifty Shades of Grey, The Feminist Mystique, just to name a few- are all steering women away from a dating/courtship that fosters the femininity of a woman and the masculinity of a man. These ladies who long to be in relationship wanted any nugget of information they could receive about the opposite sex and how to "reel" them in or know whether or not they the man was even worth casting a line towards.

As the remainder of our conversation unfolded, I had the opportunity to point these ladies back to the plans of the Lord for their lives, rather than them searching amongst a book written by a man who is not a believer for all the answers to their relationship woes. I needed to point them instead to the One who had written the very story of their lives.

And so, I will share with you. Dear one, if you are single, The Lord knows the plans He has for you. He knew you before you were even a thought in your parents' mind; He knew you before time began. How grand for us to even imagine! Some may venture to ask, "Does He truly give us the desire for marriage, or do we create that one on our own?" I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, marriage is a desire given to us by the Lord. We are already self-centered individuals as singles; therefore, it would be uncharacteristic for a selfish human being to desire to unite with another self-centered human being in matrimony, apart from the Lord's intervention. He plants the desire for marriage within our hearts because it is through the institution of marriage that He will show the world a picture of the gospel. Thus that desire for marriage originates from Him for His purpose of sharing His gospel.

Though this desire for marriage be present, it may not be on our own timetable. It may be years from now. Sigh. I know. I never wanted that either. As the twenty-four year old looked at me seemingly believing I did not understand her desire for marriage, I could only reply with a response of my age when I was married. I married Jeremy six months after I turned 31 and ten years after I thought I would be married. Though some may be older and still single, I use this example to firmly declare the timing is not our own.

"Erase my desire, Lord!," you may say. Yet as the clay cannot speak back to the potter, why would we fight against the One who has given such desires. If He has given, we must receive and trust that He will fulfill.

There is One who is in to you. He is completely into you - so into you that He gave His Son as your ransom. He put His wrath towards His one and only Son that you might live - live and be free, and live unto Him. Dear sister, because of this, rest assured that He has wonderful plans for your life - possibly a husband and family of your own, possibly a ministry you've wanted to pour in to, possibly a home in another country to share more of Him - whatever it be, He has you. He has your plans and will reveal them in His perfect timing. He has your future -- because He's just that into you.

An aside: I loved reading Passion and Purity and Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot during the season of singleness.

Do Over

The other night Jeremy and I were on the couch watching none other than Bachelor in Paradise. Now, let me say Jeremy is not overly invested in the show. He was watching because of the Chad bear. We will leave it at that. However, while we were watching I was reminded of some of the many dumb things I did to attract a guy's attention. Not just one guy; there were several in the vault that I had my eyes on over the years. I was a good party-planner and always knew exactly who to invite, if you catch the drift. As Elisabeth Elliot said, we all have our own bag of tricks.

In that moment, I realized how much easier life would've been if I'd just trusted the Lord to take control of the situation - to bring me the mate He had for me. Sure, that's how it ended. It ended with Jeremy being given to me as a sweet, precious gift and nothing I had to concoct or plan. It was finally God's plan that had poured forth when I came to the end of myself. I commented to Jeremy how much I would like to do it all over again. I believe there were moments that could have been avoided - moments where I might have been up for the chase or the challenge, rather than allowing a man to pursue me. Of course, this time around should I have been granted a do over would hopefully look different - more patience, more trusting in the waiting, more contentment.

Fast forward to this morning. Thankfully I don't have to do any of that over as far as the dating scene goes, and I'm able to wake up to Jeremy every morning. But this particular morning there was a lot on my mind. The wheels were turning faster than I could keep up with my thoughts. When Jeremy walked into the bathroom to get ready, the only thing I could do was cry. In his steadiness (The LORD knew I needed that), Jeremy reminded me that my thoughts can spin out of control but I can choose to trust God. The moment passed, and I continued to get ready. The Holy Spirit took Jeremy's words and paired them with the words I'd mentioned only a few days earlier - "I would do it over again differently." Each season brings an opportunity to trust God. The matter at hand may look differently, but the opportunity still affords us the chance to release control to the One we trust. In theory, we can say we believe.. but our belief system is fully played out in the practical. This means saying and doing the act of trusting.

While sitting at church this morning, I was thinking of the walls of Jericho because Jeremy was teaching from Joshua. The God who brought down the walls of Jericho is the same God who brings down my trust walls. He gives me a "do - over". He gives me a mulligan. Grace.

All in His time

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

This verse gives us hope of all things happening in the Lord's timing, yet often we fail to acknowledge the reality of His timing. We want everything to happen in our plan of time - when and how we want it all to unfold. No greater time is the verse applicable than in the time I was praying for a husband and deemed the time as at that very moment for the Lord provide me a husband. Cue the tapping impatient foot.

Lately I've been scrolling through the newsfeed on Facebook and seeing several friends who have recently become involved in relationships. My heart leaps with joy for them, and I am genuinely encouraged by all that is unfolding in their lives. However, what I have decided to write about here is  just how the Lord has shown Himself to me via these young women becoming involved in relationships.

God's timing is perfect. PERFECT. I spent years praying for a husband. I am certain these women have spent more than a day also praying for the mate the Lord has for them. Though we don't know the end to which these relationships will take, our God has brought these men into their lives now. It wasn't because I was doing everything right; it wasn't because they are doing everything right. It was because our God deemed it time. I think back to all the wasted, yes I said wasted, hours of crying over not having a mate. All along the Lord knew April 2014 would be the time of introduction. Other desires of my heart were met in every way. Desires He planted in my heart, He also granted. The fret and the worry and the frustration built up to a moment that unfolded in meeting Jeremy and not a moment sooner. My point is this: we can not see all the Lord is doing, but if we trust He loves us (and He does) then we must submit to what He has in store for us knowing it is for our good - whether it is a trip to share the Gospel to a people in another country, a new job, a 6'2 man who loves Jesus or the trip of a lifetime.

I can't get over how God works all things to His good and glory. We don't understand His timing because He is not working on a timetable. A day is a 1000 years. But His ways are higher than our own.

If you are dating, trust in the Lord's timing. Trust in the moment now. Live in this moment, and live it to the hilt for this is His will for your life.
If you are single, take heart. The Lord is working 10,000 things at one time, and you may be aware of 3 (care of Piper). He has planted these desires in your heart. Surrender to the desires of your heart and be amazed. His timing will unfold. It absolutely will! I believe that. I'm believing it now as a wife, and hopefully one day a mother.

Yes, there is a time for every matter under heaven. It leaves me breathless. It leaves me hopeful. It leaves me at peace.