Sunday, June 12, 2016

Stop Praying for your Future Husband

"Girlfriend, you better stop praying for a husband, if you don't write this boy back."

That's exactly what the fiery red-head, Mrs. Bush, told me as I sat propped up on one of her kitchen stools. She was by the sink and had been listening to all the essential details I was sharing about this young man who had emailed me asking to get to know me better. I'd been posted on Kelly's Korner three months prior, and he was just getting around to seeing the site. Of all 184 posts, I was the one he decided to email. He was an engineer in the Army and was moving to West Point. He loved God and had taken some seminary classes to increase His understanding of the Word and theology. He had two Master's degrees and was a former baseball player.

I, on the other hand, sat there browsing the credentials as a skeptical young woman- fearing a lack of attraction, fearing conversation, fearing the Army and fearing New York aka the distance factor. Mrs. Bush who I had lived with for quite a few months knew all of my fears and hesitations before I could even voice them. Though she knew them to be understandable and within reason, her boldest statement to date flowed off the tip of her tongue - "Stop praying..." There were more words to it than that, but I couldn't hear them. Had she really just said that? That's not in Scripture? How dare she?

Yet, I'm thankful for her harsh words and encouragement. For years I'd prayed for a man who would lead me spiritually, who would pursue, who was handsome and kind. To be honest, the baseball deal was not hurting his chances. My prayers were neatly written in a journal I'd been keeping since 2009. I was hesitant because I did not have the energy to invest in one more failed "go" at a relationship. Haven't we all felt that way? But Mrs. Bush was trying to show me that God had placed this man in my path for that moment. We didn't know how long he would be around or if a relationship would even develop. But the opportunity was there - a fine young man was there- and I needed to be open to what was in front of me. This was the Lord's will for me - to what end, we did not know. Her one-liner was not meant to sting me, but it was meant to show me that God was answering my very prayers with this man. I didn't need to ignore His answer, though it didn't come in the neat package I wanted (at first). If I chose to ignore God's gifts, then I needed to stop praying to receive them. She was good. She was wise.

And with that I emailed Him back. Surrendering the will comes in many different forms. I believe the Lord uses many circumstances to show us more and more ways where we hold up our own will against His. By emailing this suitor back I was surrendering my will of what I had set my boundaries for dating to be. I surrendered my plans and opened them to the possibilities of what God had in store. With that came much relief and much learning; much yielding and more surrendering.

On the cusp of this sweet man's birthday, to Jeremy I say this: You gave me the reason to stop praying for my future husband because in you my prayers for a husband were answered -completely and immeasurably more. I love you.

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