Saturday, January 2, 2016

2015: A Full Year. A Full Life.

Goodbye 2015. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a sentimental one. I take ahold of the memories of something and don't necessarily love giving them up so easily. I’m the one who said “Goodbye house” before we left our little NY abode for the Christmas trek. So instead of a house, today I’m saying goodbye to 2015. And like Clint Eastwood, we’ve got the good, the bad, and the ugly. Brace for impact.


The New Year started with a last minute decision to head to Statesville to help Amanda find a wedding dress. What I didn’t know was that she would ask me to be her Maid of Honor. Shocker, but I cried tears of joy. I was honored and didn’t even think I would have this role in her wedding. I also took in a Duke game with Shonica. Jen and I took a trip to Launching Pad with some of my favorite kids and jumped like there was no tomorrow. Hello, I’m a 5 year old. There was a trip to see Jeremy, flowers delivered, and a road trip to see Amelia. But most of all, this month was cold. January began a dark season for me. The Lord was faithful when I questioned Him on so many levels. I cried more than a girl cares to cry. And yet, those tears were used to remind me of who it was I was crying out too.



Baby M went to church for the first time and showed her excitement. She hasn’t stopped making me laugh. I spent Valentine’s weekend in NY with Jeremy. On this weekend, Jeremy told me he loved me. Through the tears of all my doubts and questions, he told me him loved me, so that I would know he loved me just as I am. Little did I know this fella had bigger plans in sight. Through this the Lord showed me how He loves me through Jeremy.


It was still quite a cold month. And why did we decide to go to Chicago? Yes, we did! I always enjoy travel with Amanda and Chicago was where we’d set our sights. Our travel method: warm up in the hotel then go out and see as much as we can, and then repeat. Deep dish pizza and ACC basketball were just the ticket to keep me satisfied at the end of our exploratory adventures. More ugly - in an attempt to regulate hormones post birth control I felt like I was losing every bit of sanity I had. Quite literally. Jeremy, my mom, my coworkers, and Leah were all in the right place for me as God had planned in advance. I am forever grateful for the men and women God had prepared in advance for me to walk life at this season. He used so many to carry me through when I couldn’t tell which way I was going. Those hard months showed me more of what it means to walk by faith and not by sight.


Here we are in April and we are at a strong 1-year anniversary. Do I have a clue about anything? Absolutely not! Jeremy decided to propose when we went to visit my parents Easter weekend. I wouldn’t have it any other way. We were able to celebrate with my family and then sweet friends that night. I cried all the way back from SC to Raleigh- And I’m still trying to process God’s goodness in bringing us together. I spent much time with baby M; who would complain about that? Babysitting adventures taught me quite a bit about our dependency on the Lord.


May flowers bring birthdays. I celebrated turning 31 with my family and Jeremy. For the first birthday weekend, I shopped for my wedding dress. I rang the bell proudly when I knew it was the one! Jeremy and I spent my actual birthday weekend doing engaged folks things- looking for housing and registering.. with a few desserts thrown in the mix. I also celebrated two special friends and their bachelorette weekends. As we get older, we are more tame. And I loved celebrating Amanda and Kathryn!


Apparently in June, I was just having my mail delivered to Raleigh. I was in Statesville for Amanda’s wedding which involved some crying, some laughing and lots of dancing! I made a trip to Philly to celebrate a special fella’s bday. Made a quick trip home to celebrate the Daddy on Dad’s day. And Kathryn got married!! June is the month for weddings! Friends from IDC also threw me a Cookies and Milk shower! Hello.. I love cookies!


Jeremy and I traveled (more traveling) to Atlanta for July 4th! We attempted to run the Peachtree, but the rain dampened every bit of us and the best run I got was back to the hotel room with my shoes sloshing full of rain. However, all was well when we saw the Braves play, ate hotdogs and watched fireworks. That’s an all- American weekend. Some sweet Bay Leaf friends hosted a shower for us, and family came into town for the occasion. We also made time for some engagement pictures that turned out beautifully!



This month was the beginning of the end. I packed in quite a few things for this month including a trip to Woolworth’s in Greensboro with Ashley, kayaking with Heidi, and a fun trip to NC beaches. Let’s not forget the Bachelorette weekend that topped it all! - Lingerie shower, White Trash Bash, Chickfila, pool time and Saw Mill. Let’s just say I cried at dinner being surrounding by some of the greatest friends the Lord could gift me with while in Raleigh. The parents headed North and helped me pack my belongings for a move back to SC before the wedding. It wasn’t as hard as I expected, and I thank the Lord for that. I also ended my job at the BR this month. All things in His timing.


The only thing I remember about September is this: all systems go for wedding stuff! My parents and I worked our behinds off planning this wedding. There were several bridal showers in the SC, and we managed to escape to the beach twice admist the craziness! Holla! Hannah traveled down for some NASCAR love. It was the first Southern 500 in years. We proudly participated in throwing up our 3! High school friends also treated me to another bachelorette party! I worked my way through Romans a little at a time- For whatever reason, this book of the Bible had previously caused much fear. I can't even explain it but am thankful to have studied this book in depth.



Simple: Rehearsal Dinner. Wedding. Honeymoon. Move. Married couple things. 

We began to settle into the home a little more. We made trips out to the furniture stores to find some much needed living room furniture, bed room suite and kitchen table. We hosted the cadets from BCM with a full Mexican buffet. And I learned what it meant to be married to a Veteran. This year was my family’s turn for Thanksgiving - Madelyn? Yes yes! Turkey Trot? Sure! Eating like no tomorrow? Always.


Tis the season to decorate the house, right? I went to the city to be on the Rachel Ray show with West Point friends. Baby M celebrated her first Birthday. Jeremy and I made a trip into the city to see the big tree, and it was quite chaotic. We had plans for other things but settled on a pic in front of the tree and dinner at Grand Central. We were gone for 2 solid weeks for family time- first to TN and then to SC! We loved every minute of it, especially since it was our first Christmas together! NYE was spent in Raleigh some old friends! Happy New Year!


I wanted to take a quick moment to address the doubts and fears of faith that I have had this year. There were big questions in some of the darkest moments I've experienced in my life. In those dark moments, there was always light. He drew me closer to Himself and continues to teach me through my questions. The question that plagued me the most and still haunts me occasionally is "Does God exist?" On that question, I cried and pondered many, many days. This is what I know: He does exist. In the smallest of ways over the last year, God has shown me His existence on many levels. Primarily, He has shown me who is by His Word; His revelation to us. I fought hard to continue reading my Bible daily knowing Truth came from Him in His Word. A small way God showed Himself to me as ruler and Creator was during the many times I found myself in an airport. Having strong stare game led me to watch people closely. I admired from afar the intricate details and differences of every human being who crossed my path. Each person longing for hope in some way. In that I learned a greater lesson of who our Creator is and the hope He has promised. For that I am forever thankful. He teaches me. He shows me. He cares for me.

And on that note- 2015 is a wrap. My life doesn't seem to slow down much. I recently read a blog by my friend, Heather Hood. She mentioned how she always felt burdened to say her life was "busy." It seemed in those moments she could never catch up. But her perspective changed when she realized her life was "Full." This was a ground-breaking mindset for me! I have always felt busy, but my life is really greatly full. It is full of family, friends, traveling, laughter, thinking and more thinking, time with the Lord, exercise, good food and a sweet man who loves me so much. My life is full. 2015 was full.

He has come so that I might have life to the full. This is my life from 2015. Full.
John 10:10


  1. I am so glad you addressed some of your faith fears. It helps me with my own struggle knowing that others have faith fears too.

    1. You're welcome. I'm glad it could be encouraging to you because that makes me encouraged!

  2. This was a very good post, my friend. I appreciate getting to see your reflect on all of that in hindsight. It also just made me miss you a lot!!