Monday, February 3, 2014

This Season: Our Heart's Desires

This Season.  It's the catchy little title for this segment of blogging that I came up with just this morning.  Creative? Not really.  Appropriate? I'd like to think so.  Just as seasons change, our lives do also. Though the dead of winter is going strong right now, soon the trees will have bright, green leaves which will later turn to reds and oranges.  But God is God through all seasons, and for that we can be thankful.

Today's post comes based on thoughts after reading another blog.  I have nothing profound to share but what God has taught me.  And so it begins...

Delight yourself in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

Can I be honest?  I have taken that verse out of its context more often than one can count.  I have prayed numerous,endless prayers asking God to grant me the desires of my heart. Yet, I've failed in two areas.  I failed to recognize the first part of the verse that commands us to delight ourself in the Lord. - This is the part that we are responsible for.  I was claiming this verse in prayer, yet miserably failed to put feet to my own charge from the psalmist.  Secondly, I failed by pinning one BIG desire on God that has resulted in bitterness and frustration - esp. for a single girl.  My desire has nearly always been marriage and a family. And when prayers aren't answered, we get a little upset.  Let's just be real. Whew! Glad that's out there now.

At the end of last year, I decided to take myself off Facebook and have a break. Insert: Ross and Rachel kind of break ha. My reasons were primarily selfish, but at this point I think it has been a good decision.  On the day I deactivated my account, I was angry about all of the marriage proposals, engagements, pregnancies, new homes, new dogs.. all of it.  All of what seemed to fit in a pretty packaged box called "My Heart's Desires" was for someone else and not me.  I can say that the Lord has definitely changed my heart in all of this, and now my retreat from Facebook is nice because of the huge amount of time saved. (Just in case you were wondering.)  But that was real life for me folks.  I perceived that everyone else's life was moving right along at a happy, wonderful pace because all of these great plans were unfolding for them.  And here mine was at a standstill, like traffic on the 4th of July headed to the beach.  And that is a for real deal standstill.

Being single is difficult.  I can most assuredly say that I never thought in a million years that I would be 29 and without a family of my own.  My little plan had me teaching high school History raising two kids with my loving husband.  I could be more detailed, but I'll spare you.  Let's just say I had all this mapped out.  And when the plans don't go well, it's not easy.

But God has shown me over the last several weeks the grandness and vastness of my desires.  When I thought my desire was to just be married and have a family, He has shown me that my heart desired so much more.  

I love to travel.  I get so excited about planning a trip, and flying, and trying out different local food places, and seeing how other people live.  It amazes me that just in the US alone people can live so differently.  I enjoy teaching and writing. I enjoy sharing with other women how God is working in my life.  I longed/long to know God more and to love him more than the day before.  During my first few months at Southeastern, an older friend was telling me how she once lived with a widow for a time and learned so much about the Lord by sitting under her.  This became a desire of mine, and that was 2007.  In college my love for mission trips and going grew tremendously.  

Psalm 37:4 dramatically took on a whole new light as I realized how much God has granted some of the desires of my heart that I never took note of.  I have been able to travel and experience some wonderful vacations with great friends - New York City, Boston  and the Western Caribbean to name a few.  I have been able to go on numerous mission trips and work alongside missionaries and support them in whatever way needed. I still cannot believe that I have been to Prague three times to work with the McClures.  I have been given the opportunity to write in a greater capacity than I dreamed of when I started seminary.  I write Sunday School curriculum for preschoolers.  I write this cute little ol' blog, and I'm working on a book now.  Out of the blue, I decided to enroll in seminary after I graduated college.  That was never on the radar, promise.  In 2010, I was fortunate enough to live with Mrs. Cindy Bush, a widow of the late Dr. Russ Bush.  She welcomed me into her home during a key transitional moment in my life.  I am forever grateful for the time I was able to take up a room at her home and learn from her.  I have been able to teach other young ladies through small groups and Bible studies.  

You see, God has granted the desires of my heart.  Not all of them, yes.  But in His faithfulness and timing, He is granting my desires.  He is granting our desires.  It is nice to see how God does work on our behalf and for our enjoyment, despite what we think. Remember: standstill.. yeah.  I was previously too clouded by the singleness to recognize just what He had been and is doing in my life.  

Take delight.. He is giving you the desires of Your heart.


  1. Great post Erin! Have you ever done Priscilla shirer's bible study on Jonah? It is one of my favorites. It goes along with this I think. It helped me through the difficult time of moving to nc. I highly recommend it!

    Anyway...unfortunately, I think in this life we will never be satisfied. We will always be found wanting. In high school I wanted to graduate and go to college in college I wanted to graduate and get a job. after college I wanted to get married after marriage I want kids. I want a house I want to be settled down I want to be able to stay home instead of work. Your post is a great reminder to enjoy our life in the moment and to seek how God would have us live for him in the moment we are currently in. It is not easy.

    1. Thanks for reading Megan! I'll definitely have to get that when I'm done with No Other Gods. It's all hard but trusting in Gods timing and knowing he has a purpose helps :)

  2. I hear you. FB can be poisonous, and that feeling that everyone else is living what I want and I'm not, is a lot lighter off of it. What a great move to count those blessings of how HE HAS given you the desires of your heart. Occasionally, I have to take a step back and think the same things--how could I have done all that I have been doing if I'd had a husband and children to take care of? I couldn't have. That's just not my journey. But other amazing opportunities have been and will be.