Waiting Room

Waiting Room.
Tiled floors. Cold air. Beige chairs in rows for days. Sullen faces. Anticipation. Dread.

Over the past couple of months, I've found myself in more waiting rooms than I'd care to count or advertise. From one health complication to another, none of which have been life=threatening, my time has accrued significantly in waiting to see a doctor and have him hand me a diagnosis. I want answers. I have a million questions. I need good bedside manner. I need to be told everything is going to be okay.

And yet somehow, those aren't the exact words I've heard. In fact, I really haven't heard one way or the other. It seems the ball is in my court. Sure, cysts occur frequently in a woman's body. It's a part of the reproduction process - a part that I never actually learned in high school. Somehow I think that would've thrown everyone for a loop, and so the teacher nicely skipped over it. Sure, it's a natural thing. But where have they come from? It seems the doctors don't have a clue either. Have they deemed it infertility? Absolutely not. Am I being dramatic? Possibly. But I have a heart that desires more answers than one educated man can seem to give. And though my pain be gone, I sit in this waiting room of life so to speak. It's called the "Wait and See" approach, so they say. There is not a bone in my body that likes to wait. For reference, see the many years before meeting Jeremy for evidence in that.

Yet, today as I took a walk around our neighborhood, the Lord is gracious. In fact, His goodness brought me to tears as He brought the verses from Psalm 139 to my mind. He KNEW my body before it was formed in my mother's womb. He knows the bodies of any children He blesses us with in the future. And THAT overwhelms me and floods me with humility while I sit in this waiting room. He knows every part and knows what will happen in the future.  Though I desperately want to return to what I deem normal, I do believe the Lord brings us through various times and kinds of waiting rooms only to create new normals for us. You see, we can't go back. We have to always press forward because in the pressing forward we learn to lean on and trust Him more than we ever did in our conception of "normal."

And with that, the waiting room is good. It is for our good. And it is right.

Though this be related to my own personal health concerns at the moment (again I probably I have a bit more concern than I should), I do believe the waiting room can and does apply to many areas of our lives. As we all sit in our various waiting rooms, may we make it a time of increasing our faith and believing in God's power than spans anything we could possibly imagine.