Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Bachelor in Paradise Open Letters

Somehow despite knowing Nick Viall is now the next Bachelor, our household still managed to watch this past Monday night's finale of Paradise like our Monday night depended on it.

Dear Izzy:
When you decide to call Vinny because you've made all sorts of mistakes and he answers by saying "Who's this?", that most nearly means your number is not saved aka has been deleted. In the words of Vinny - Bye!

Dear Amanda, 
Andi's book is really good. You should probably read it. And when Josh "shushed" you at the end of what was shown on TV, well that's probably going to be your future [according to Andi]. Buckle up 
buttercup - You've been warned. #everythingissofun #sohappy #fantasyland

Ashley I, Chad has a message for you: But for real though, a girl never gets anywhere telling a guy who he should date. #rookiemistake 

Grant and Lace.. Yes, you will in fact need a ton of grace. And those, extensions. Friend, your natural hair is just fine. No need to add a foot and a half of extra hair in an entirely different color. #icanteven

Dear Carly: We like you. We like you and Evan and your weirdness. And because you're the underdog, we are pulling for y'all.  #hiimcarlynicetomeetyou #evanmadeherthrowup #hopeforall

Dear Bachelor Franchise, Please tell us that you have somehow miraculously paid off Jen so that she's going to pop back into Nick's season and just steal the show. #hireme #greatidea #themostdramaticseasonever

Until next year... I've got money! I've got muscles!