Monday, February 1, 2016

That Season: Long Distance Lovin'

Happy February fine folks! I consider it a personal achievement when I make it through the month of January. We are forced to move to Feb and then led sweetly into the madness of March. I believe I can speak for the majority of the US population when I say we are all bracing for impact until March arrives. On an unrelated side note, I've always been fascinated with February due to a sweet little fifth grade moment when we spent the entire week doing Valentine's and Black History projects. Jeremy applauds my fantastic memory! I could go on about all of that but I shan't. (Shall not, people!) We've got better things to discuss-

Though some prefer to not embark on the wondrous adventures of long distance love, I have found myself to come quite fond of them myself. I say this quite sarcastically because long distance found me. I rarely met a guy in the 30 mile radius to date, so when those from afar came knocking at the door I was happy to oblige.  Here I attempt to break down the good and the bad of long distance love.

The Good
1) Communication, communication, communication - That's all you've got! A date with a long distance love doesn't always look like a cup of coffee or walk through the park. What it does look like- racking up a ton of minutes to Verizon. Trust me, in those conversations you cover a lot of ground. You talk about topics that some closer distance couples might not have even approached yet. It boils down to this- if you want to spend time with the person, you have to talk. And when you have to talk, topics come up! That's all you have until the flight time comes, and you can visit.

2) Social calendar- I always tried to schedule time with friends around when I knew I'd be able to talk to Jeremy. He was relaxed with all of that too. I found myself to be thankful for the ability to maintain friendships and a single girl routine when he and I weren't visiting one another. He is and was important to me, but I wasn't married yet. I've seen and heard of gals who drop their friends when a beau comes around. It never ends pretty, including a few disgruntled bridesmaids. Use the time of distance to nurture friendships, so they can be maintained if "I dos" are ever in the future.

3) Boundaries- When you aren't always together, it's easier to keep the physical boundaries in check. Sex is such a beautiful gift from the Lord, but the temptation is fierce. Distance helps with that.

4) Make Skype dates a date - My friend, Emily, gave me a great idea when Jeremy and I first started dating. She would wear a cute dress and make up and fix the hair often before she would Skype with her boyfriend. A lot of times our Skype sessions would look like me post-gym. So when I did take the extra effort, someone noticed. And someone was happy!

5) Time together is the best. You're time together, when the opportunity arises is so special. You are intentional. You are packing the weekend full of togetherness. It's all about you and him - no phone calls, few texts, few email checks. And that makes it the best!

6) Long distance love for the settled married. One would think the transition from long distance love to a married couple would be itchy friction. Not so much. My friend Torri encouraged me tremendously when she told me we'd finally get to "just be". I couldn't agree more. We are now able to just be in the same place. We can just sit on the same couch. We can just go to dinner together without having to wait for time in between. We are finally able to just be.

The Bad
These are too a minimum because I think the sweetness of the Good is much better and far outweighs the bad. But I promised; therefore, I shall deliver:

1) Facial expressions, tones etc - You can't always pick up on the mannerisms over the phone. But marriage is about learning right?

2) Obviously, you don't get to see the person right when you want to. I remember a bad day for the books. I wanted nothing more than to just talk to Jeremy and have him sit right beside me. What it actually looked like was me talking to him on the phone and then crying in the grocery store parking lot. Apparently that's where it made it all better.

3) Flight prices are not for the faint at heart. So save a little. Don't eat out as much, and make your friend.

Long distance lovin' can be hard. It can be straining. But it can also be sweet, exhilarating and peaceful - because when you get off the plane, you know he's there. You know he's waiting. You know your time together is just beginning all over again!


  1. So thankful for all the good and the bad!!! Love you :)

  2. I was in Atlanta & he was stationed in Alaska. But when the Lord is in it, the miles shrink in more ways than one. :)