Tuesday, January 26, 2016

That Season: Boundaries

I am currently reading through Dr. Akin's God on Sex, having sat under him as one of my professors and respected president of my seminary it leaves one slightly uncomfortable to hear someone talk quite a bit about sex. However, he has much to say as he navigates through the territory of Song of Songs- all of which is good and recommended on my end.

Boundaries can be a tricky thing for a Christian dating couple. We live in a fast paced world where sex sells, and sex is praised. Not to mention, the naturally occurring hormones within. A wise friend of mind once mentioned how a touch on the back leads to a craving of a hand hold which leads to a craving of a hug which leads to a craving of a kiss which leads to a longer make out session which leads to... You get the picture. Thus it is necessary to not only make boundaries for the relationship but also stick to those boundaries.

If someone were to ask, "Why do you have physical boundaries in your relationship?" We should be able to respond with a better answer than just because the Bible says so. In God on Sex, Dr. Akin states:
"All of us are susceptible to our passions getting out of control, overriding both our reason and will and causing massive hurt and damage. We must understand and understand well: God gave us sex as a wonderful gift to be enjoyed between a man and a woman within the bonds of marriage. This plan of His will never change. .. He gave us this plan because it brings Him glory and it is for our good."

Therefore it is only appropriate the lady of Songs proclaims - "Do not awaken love until it so desires." Song of Solomon 2:7

I made the commitment very early in life to not have sex outside of marriage. I made the commitment then because I knew that is what the Bible taught. However, over the years I have been able to grow and learn and know this is a beautiful gift for a husband and wife. There is much shame and guilt and hurt that comes when boundaries are pushed; yet we have a God who has come to us to redeem those areas of our lives. Jeremy and I established very early on, with his leading, a few boundaries we would have with our relationship. This may seem extreme but we chose to not kiss for long amounts of time and only when we were standing. Yes I know, you may be laughing. It sounds odd but these were the boundaries that worked for us.

Pray about boundaries. Discuss them with your significant other. Set the boundaries. Stick to them.

I truly believe when we seek to honor the Lord in our relationships even on a physical level, He delights in our obedience. Because when the appropriate time comes for a husband and wife to experience their first intimate moment together, it is the two of them. They are able to rejoice in the moment of becoming one together. And in the loving commitment of a man and woman, creation begins to reflect His original intent - "and they were naked and unashamed." Genesis 2:25


  1. I think it may have been because I was so distracted by the delicious sausage and broccoli cheese soup with cheddar biscuits you were making last night, but I enjoyed this even more the second time I read it just now! A+ :)

  2. holla Jeremy!!! i introduced Erin to that soup from Shay's blog!!!! haha..