Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Steps of Faith: Me

It's the last installment of the "Steps of Faith" series. Installment sounds so official. I would love to do another series and have been seriously thinking to that end. Selfishly I do these series to learn more and learn from others. I am grateful. I couldn't skirt around it any longer, and I'm the final one to post. Here you go.


You would think when someone has been thinking about this post for a while that she would know exactly what to write. I don't. I don't know where to start or what to say. But I'll give it a try.

Jeremy and I started dating on May 9th of this year. Previously, I had been single for quite a while. In this respect, I am defining single as without a boyfriend. Yet, when our relationship began, my relationship status changed. - Not Facebook-wise. But this was real life. I now had a boyfriend.

Because I had not dated much and was single for so long, I think there are large amounts of sin that can be easily covered up. Read: a trust in the Lord and His control over my life. Here I had been this girl who seemingly had everything under her control. I worked, worked out, cooked dinner, watched TV, and slept.. with the occasional mix-in of hanging out with friends. It was all me. My life looked as if it was lived in full trust of the Lord, yet in reality it was a girl who had a tight grip on her own life.

For the first two months, I am certain I sent Jeremy on the craziest roller coaster to be had in any US theme park. Thankfully, he has held on. You see, there was much fear during those first two months. There was a fear that crept in because I certainly didn't have control any more. The Lord's plan was unfolding before me. Though I had prayed for quite some time for a godly man to enter the picture, I didn't have control over this situation. God allowed the circumstances to unfold as they did.

On the side of singleness, we think that a guy in our life will solve all problems. That is not the case. We are not made complete in a boyfriend. We are made complete in Christ (Col. 2:10). If anything, it magnified my battles even more. The Lord revealed just how shut off I had/have been to trusting Him. When my little world was shaken (in a fantastic way), it revealed how for so long my control translated to a lack of trust in the Almighty and much fear. Having not dated too much and being hurt the few times I had, I had always been in self protective mode. It was difficult to let this man into my life and trust him.

This is where steps of faith are required. Faith is a confidence in someone (God). By stepping forward during this dating season, it is a daily necessity to put my faith in God and that His plans are good. He loves me and cares for me and nothing comes to me that is not first filtered through His love for me (Romans 8:38-9).

Dating has challenged me in ways that I never would've thought. It has shown me how much faith is required in abandoning my independent self and allowing another to care for me and take care of me. It has ultimately shown me that I need to allow God to take care of me; He is my Father (Romans 8:15; Psalm 23). It has revealed to me the many insecurities of previous relationships and how I must allow the Lord to deal with those accordingly. It has shown me that the One who is sovereign means all things for my good and His glory through that (Romans 8:28). It has taught me that trusting God and others is necessary during all seasons of life (Jer. 17).

Dating has also been fun and exciting. It has taught me much about the Army, and West Point with its history. It has taught me about serving another and supporting him. It has taught me about engineering. It has taught me about the enjoyment of an IHOP breakfast, movie quotes, taking pictures together, being my goofy self, and sharing chocolate chip cookies with someone else. It has taught me about reading God's Word and seeking Him and living at the center of His will - living it to the hilt.

And my portion for today is being a girlfriend.

Jeremy, I know you are reading this. I am thankful for you; you know that. But I am thankful for you being in my life even more so because of the steps of faith that have been required of me- steps toward our God and following Him.

2 comments:

  1. I LOVE this post! I'm going through a very similar experience right now and I know I needed to read this for reinforcement today! Love this series and meeting all your bloggers, Erin!

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  2. THank you! I'm glad you were able to identify. It helps to just be honest and seek the Lord for that wisdom!

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