I want the sunshine. Really bad.. badly. The rain impedes one's prompt arrival to work. For once, I want to be to work on time, and I'd like for it to be sunny and Fall-ish and not haters on the Interstate that freak out with rain. Raleigh, you are not Seattle.
In my thinking of desiring all things Fall, I wound my way over to Target and tried to get that Fall thing going. What was the result? A pumpkin something candle and a little kitchen towel with some witch legs on it. Quite cute. I scoured the baking aisle, the ends of the aisles, and the Halloween section for some pumpkin bread and/or muffin mix and came up lacking. So I happily tromped back to the check out line and saved it for another day.
Currently I am looking (was looking) quite official with my earbuds in and recording device trying to write an article for the paper. That's right! It's my first official attempt at writing an article for the BR.. and first attempt ever. However, Jeremy reminds me this is not much different than writing for anything History I did. I see his logic... It's all in the past, and I'm just writing about that past in the present. Just the facts.
With that being said, (Insert: the sun JUST came out.. and the angels began singing Hallleeellujah) this past weekend I attended the Women's Prayer and Evangelism Conference. I went for work, yet I found myself thoroughly enjoying the event. Here's the quick and short of it all. I desire to live for the Lord. Not for the approval of the Lord that would earn my salvation. BUT I desire to live for the Lord in such a way that brings honor to His Name. I desire to share my life with others and live the gospel out with them and to them. -- This translates to loving others well, showing grace and forgiveness, being a comforter and encourager etc. Conferences have the tendency to overwhelm me. OVERWHELM. I somehow feel like I'm not doing enough, and there's the chance I could coordinate a Bible study here or an outreach there. Believe me, those ideas filtered through my mind during one of the breakouts. Jeremy quickly reminded me that I am doing enough. I don't see it, but I am. - Whether it's writing this blog, or the Sunday school lessons, or blog contributions, or a James devotional, or the many, many conversations I have with family and friends about the gospel and how the Lord is working in our lives. Yeah, I'll admit -freely- there are those difficult days where I just feel like I am taking 10 steps backwards. My faith is weak. I don't feel smart enough. I don't feel like I'm adding anything to counsel another. I feel depleted. Or, I just don't have any joy in what I'm doing. Those days are hard. But God is good and gracious. There is an amount of strength that He gives that sustains me more than I could have ever imagined. It is Him working in me.. working the things out of me that are of the flesh and pushing me towards a life lived unto Him. Those ten steps back pale in comparison to the two steps forward. They pale in comparison because at the end of the day, we are growing. We are being transformed into the likeness of Christ.
Our lives are not meant to be lived in such a way that we tally up our good days or our good efforts. Our lives are meant to be lived in a way that looks to God and says, "Here I am. Send me." It is in this submission to the Father that we grow in becoming more like Christ.
"We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives." 1 Thessalonians 2:8
I am pleased to share my life with you. The good. The grace. The bad. The steps back. And the HOPE. - Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
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