Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Steps of Faith: Megan

Happy Wednesday folks! Back with another "Steps of Faith." Today's post comes from Megan Lawrence. I met Megan when she rolled up into my apartment looking like this. (Megan is on the right.) We were having a Redneck party. Everyone went all out, but I remember being super impressed by Megan's get-up and bangs. I've known her since. Thankful for her post today. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! I sometimes miss those days in McDowell..

I am a pretty independent woman. My parents taught me how to cook, clean, budget, take care of my car, and fix what needs fixing. They encouraged me to pursue my studies and to live the life that I wanted to live. Thanks to their teaching, I do all right at being a grown-up.

When I met Greg, however, I had recently realized that I was not ready for one of the most grown-up things I had yet to experience . . . I wasn’t ready to get married. I liked the idea of being in a relationship, but the older I got, the more I realized what a marriage actually means. I would have to be willing to give up my freedom, my independence, and maybe even my goals. There would be another person to consider and to allow to be a part of each decision I made.
I was not ready to not be selfish.

As I began to consider what this realization meant, God began to work deeply in my heart. My fear and stubbornness were sinful, and once I had admitted it, He wasn’t going to let me go until I dealt with it. In one of the most intense weeks of my life, God sat me in a classroom (literally) and taught me about His design for marriage. From the very creation of man, God knew that it was “not good” for Adam to be alone in Eden (Genesis 2:18), so He made a helper for Him. Adam and Eve were created for each other and for God, and God used their story and others to remind me that His gifts are good. I was afraid to loose some sense of freedom, but He had already willingly sacrificed everything for me.

Why would God leave His throne, His authority, and His power behind to be born as a helpless human baby? Why would He spend His whole sinless life serving others only to die an unfair death on a brutal cross? Why does He love us so much? God calls the church His bride and often compares the people of Israel to a wandering lover. He loves His people more deeply that I can fathom, and in marriage, this most intimate relationship, God shows the world how He loves us. After a week of hearing His truth over and over again, I knew that marriage had been designed by God.

I also knew that I had a choice: I would either marry Greg or disobey God and run scared.

So many girls dream of their weddings and of the prince who will sweep them off of their feet, and I am acutely aware of their longings. God blessed me with an incredible man and the opportunity to marry him, but I was almost ready to let my selfish pride and selfish fear keep me from him. Thankfully, our God is persistent.

When Greg asked me to marry him that drizzly February afternoon, I did say yes. I spent a lot of time in prayer during our engagement, and nearly every week I had to intentionally step into faith and trust that God knows what He is doing. It took faith and humility to admit that I wasn’t as grown as I wanted to think I was. It took faith and humility to trust the Lord as we planned our wedding. It took faith and humility to pledge my life to the man God has given me.
And our God who loves us so much is worthy of our faith.

Getting married was one of the biggest steps of faith that I have taken so far. It has been wonderful, but I also wasn’t wrong in thinking that my selfishness would be challenged. I am still learning how to be a grown up, and growing up means taking new steps of faith each day. With each new step of faith, I learn something about myself and about God. I often have to be reminded that God is good, but He never fails to send those reminders.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” 

1 comment:

  1. I love that she wrote this. Not many people can be honest enough to publish the fears that come with making the marriage commitment. Love you Megan, and Erin! -Brittany