Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Winter Pinks

Winter Blues.  Let's try Winter Pinks, shall we?

I will be the first to admit that I don't like winter.  I don't have much for the cold weather, the dark skies, the sun setting at 5:00, and the earlier bed time because yet again... dark skies!  I have found myself walking from one place to another just mad at the cold weather and perpetually mumbling "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this."  I have to sleep with multiple blankets and usually two shirts just to stay warm.  There's nothing cute about that, but it's real life.

Even more real life, though, are the holidays that roll around during this time of year - We have Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's (and all that entails) and Valentine's Day.  And it just hits us like a steam roller, especially if you are single girl, and then we are done.  There are expectations that we've held for so long regarding these holidays and wish for those to be fulfilled.  Yet each year when we see the failure of those expectations being met, we toss in the towel before the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner has even been purchased.

I remember the great breakdown of Christmas 2009.  The buzz within the family was that Jordy had finally gotten a ring to propose to Lacie.  It seemed that was all anyone could talk about, even though he had not yet determined when it would all go down.  Christmas eve night, as I was getting ready for the first family celebration, I nearly lost it.  Correction.  I didn't nearly lose it.  I just completely lost it.  It was the ugly cry and uncontrollable.  My tears were not because I was jealous of Lacie and Jordy.  I was and am happy for them and their marriage.  Here's the point.. and we are getting to it.  My tears were because of all the expectations and hopes and dreams that I have held for Christmas time.  We all want a family of our own to celebrate Christmas with.  We want new traditions and old traditions.  We want to make our favorite holiday dish and take it to a neighborhood party or have a party of our own.  We want the party dress on New Year's Eve.  We want to be watching the ball drop with great friends and the one we will spend the rest of our life with.

We have these expectations and desires that we deem on  standstill until the day that we get married.  That night as I was crying, I was plagued with: Will this ever be me?  Will I ever have a Christmas tree with my own family?  Will I ever open presents with my own children.  You know that ugly, vicious cycle that continues on and on.  It's a hard time of year.  I know.  I literally start praying in the summer that the Lord will protect me during these winter months from heart ache and heart break.  I am thankful to say that He has.

We don't know the plans of our God.  (But boy do I sometimes wish I did!)  I don't know if those questions that plagued my mind will ever be answered with a YES!  Maybe not.  I do know that God is good and gracious.  Each holiday season is to be viewed as an opportunity to bring glory to Him.  For the girl who has desired to be a wife and mother for many years, Thanksgiving has turned into a day of being truly thankful for all that God has given me, rather than wishing for the day that I could prepare a meal for my own family.  For a girl that has always wanted to be hosting the neighborhood Christmas party, I have started doing Christmas parties each year with a specific cause, where my friends and I can give back to others.  Last year it was for nursing homes, and this year we are adopting two families. I'm excited about it!  For Valentine's Day, God has been gracious to point me back to His love- a love that doesn't fail.

He knows the plans He has for us.  I just have to trust those plans.

Great article - Dr. Russell Moore honoring his wife for her quietness and submission to God.  May we be women who diligently wait on the Lord.  May I be a woman who diligently waits on the Lord.

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