Friday, September 13, 2013

The FRIENDS Facts of Life

I'll be there for youuuuuu.. Take the good.  You take the bad.  You take them both and there you have the facts of life.  The facts of life.

It's kind of like that Jeopardy category "Before and After," and I've gone on the venture to combine two of my favorite TV shows into one succint facts of life post according to the friends, all six of them.

And without further ado, here are the facts that will get you far in life... Oh so far!

According to Ross:
1. Never wear your white strips longer than necessary.  And if you do, avoid the black lights.
2. Water, lotion, and baby powder form a paste, should you ever need a paste.
3. When in the spray tan bed, don't count Mississippily.  10 and 2s happen.
4. Unagi.
5. Breaks mean different things to girls and guys.

According to Rachel:
1. Beef and jam do, in fact, go in a classic English trifle.
2. That high school cheerleading uniform could get you a date.  Add in a cartwheel for an extra show.
3. A Transponster is a legitimate occupation.
4. See Ross #5.
5. If there is a reason to get off the plane other than the left phalange, then get off the plane.

According to Joey:
1. When the refrigerator breaks, you must eat everything inside of it to prevent food being wasted.
2. Joey doesn't share food.
3. An opinion that doesn't matter is like a cow's opinion.  It's a moo point.
4. One can, in fact, fit inside the entertainment center comfortably.. for hours.

According to Phoebe:
1. It's P as in Phoebe. H as in Hoebe. O as in Oebe. E as in Ebe. B as in be, and E as in "Ello there mate!"
2. Santa pants are maternity pants.
3. One should not try to "make change" from the Christmas buckets outside of Macy's.
4. The proper way to run is with your arms and legs flailing about like a fish out of water.  

According to Monica:
1. A tin foil crafted star is the correct way to say, "Job well done!"
2. Braid your hair before you hit the humidity of a tropical location such as Barbados.
3. To flirt, place carrots between your fingers and press a frozen food item to your face.  
4. It is okay to date an older man, and then date his age-appropriate son a few years later.

According to Chandler:
1. The only appropriate way to ask for forgiveness after wronging a friend is to get in a box.
2. Break in the new dancing shoes before hitting the floor to prevent dresses from coming down.
3. Always no bunny.  No bunny at all.
4. When hitting on a model in the ATM vestibule, avoid saying things such as "Gum would be perfection."

And those my friends are the facts of life.
Happy Friday!

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