The Body

The human body is interesting. It's daily functions deep beneath the layers of our skin is something I have taken for granted. When everything is functioning properly, we fail to recognize there is, in fact,  any functioning at all. Until. It's not until things go wrong that we begin to recognize all the intricacies of how our body works. Three months ago, after excruciating pain, I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst. Doctors shrugged it off as going away soon, yet I couldn't shake the fact that it was even there. I began to dive in and research how God had created the female body and was blown away. I was met with the understandings of our bodies constantly having cysts in the ovaries and how these cyst are primarily always for good - the release of an egg. Until. Until that cyst doesn't release, and it decides to stay around for a little while. This past Thursday I entered the hospital with peace and fear wrapped into one; the cyst had received its final eviction notice. What we affectionately deemed "ChadBear" was being taken out for good. As I sit here and type, I am utterly amazed at the knowledge, the tools, the doctors, the anesthesia- all given by a good and perfect God for our good. And we praise Him - the cyst was taken out and no evidence of endometriosis was found.

The body of believers is overwhelming good. The Lord did not mean for us to walk this world alone. He established the primary relationship for man and woman in the garden. Beyond that scope we were meant for relationship - with Him and with others. Throughout the last three days, the body has surrounded us - me. I refer to them as my "girls" - they are the ones the Lord gifted me in Raleigh. We have walked together for several years. I lean on them. They lean on me. We have Christ that holds us together and has brought us into fellowship with one another. I'd like to think we would all be cool to be friends regardless, but it is our God that gives us the depth of friendship that surpasses any other relationship. Outside of Him we don't have true, genuine fellowship. Beyond that, there were magazines and snacks in the mail when we arrived home on Friday. Flowers were in the kitchen. The Lord also provided a body here, in New York, that has provided meals and snacks during recovery. When friends volunteer, my natural default is to say "we've got this". Now that I've hobbled for a couple of days, we definitely didn't have it. Those meals have meant the most to us during this time. Prayers, texts, phone calls, cards - the body of believers - from near and far have supported us and encouraged us during this moment of life.

The body as a wife and Christ as the husband - it's a marvelous, beautiful mystery. I am thankful each day affords me the opportunity for the love I have for Jeremy to grow. I didn't think it was possible. Yet, over the last couple of days my love continues to grow for him, as I have seen him sacrifice himself for me as Christ did for the body. From sleeping on a poorly crafted hospital cot and helping me brush my teeth after surgery to washing my hair salon style, pulling up my pants when I can't bend over and propping my feet up because they are still swollen. He has given me his minutes, literally every second, this weekend to assist me, so that I can recover well. The Lord has shown me the goodness of marriage in an entirely different light. - Jeremy, I love you more today than yesterday and will love you more tomorrow than I do today.

Romans 8:28 says that all things work for our good. Yet three months ago, I would have never believed a cyst could work for my good. But it has. He has used the cyst to show me more of His faithfulness and that my body is not my own. He has increased my faith. The cyst has increased my fear.. and then the Lord increased my faith again. God has shown me how I must literally walk by faith in every situation - shakily, holding on to a wheel chair on the 4th floor so I can be released. He has shown me the sacrificial love of Christ through my husband. This cyst has resulted in my pride being pushed to the side and allowing others to serve me. God has used this situation to open my eyes to the greater beauty of the body of believers and how we are bound together in Christ to love and support one another for the glory of God. He has used this little thing to slow me down and rest! Our God is purposeful and good in all things. Yes, in all things. I do believe it.

** After 4 incisions; the removal of a 5.9 cm/ sausage link-like cyst wrapped around my tubes; an overnight hospital stay; being cathed in the wrong hole (I can't even); and, nearly blacking out every time I tried to walk, a girl just needs to get her hair washed (however that must happen - I'm talking old school dump the jug of water on your hair and scrub style) and get her hair straightened to feel like a new woman. **