Monday, February 6, 2017

He's Just That Into You

Each week I have the opportunity of serving a meal to a group of forty to fifty female cadets as part of a Christian ladies luncheon during their normal lunch hour. The ladies file in, grab their meal from the buffet, and then head to an assembly room for a brief message that focuses on principles of the Christian faith and their walk with the Lord. This past week as I was eyeing the salad bowl and debating in my mind whether or not I should add more lettuce and such to the bowl, I heard it. And then the debate in my mind switched gears - Should I say something? Do I interrupt? These girls don't know me.. do I have any weight in this conversation? An iron in the fire?  But the talk continued:

Female 1: I went home and bought it. It's a legit book. Stuff like that happens.
Female 2: Have you seen the movie?
Female 3 (who came into conversation late): Are you talking about "He's Just Not That Into You."
Female 1: Yes, It's so good. And that's how guys are.

I couldn't take it any longer and had to interrupt. I, myself, had owned the book at one point in life. I knew what it contained and easily convinced myself to throw the thing away knowing there was nothing biblical within the confines of the front and back cover.

These books - He's Just Not That Into You, Fifty Shades of Grey, The Feminist Mystique, just to name a few- are all steering women away from a dating/courtship that fosters the femininity of a woman and the masculinity of a man. These ladies who long to be in relationship wanted any nugget of information they could receive about the opposite sex and how to "reel" them in or know whether or not they the man was even worth casting a line towards.

As the remainder of our conversation unfolded, I had the opportunity to point these ladies back to the plans of the Lord for their lives, rather than them searching amongst a book written by a man who is not a believer for all the answers to their relationship woes. I needed to point them instead to the One who had written the very story of their lives.

And so, I will share with you. Dear one, if you are single, The Lord knows the plans He has for you. He knew you before you were even a thought in your parents' mind; He knew you before time began. How grand for us to even imagine! Some may venture to ask, "Does He truly give us the desire for marriage, or do we create that one on our own?" I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, marriage is a desire given to us by the Lord. We are already self-centered individuals as singles; therefore, it would be uncharacteristic for a selfish human being to desire to unite with another self-centered human being in matrimony, apart from the Lord's intervention. He plants the desire for marriage within our hearts because it is through the institution of marriage that He will show the world a picture of the gospel. Thus that desire for marriage originates from Him for His purpose of sharing His gospel.

Though this desire for marriage be present, it may not be on our own timetable. It may be years from now. Sigh. I know. I never wanted that either. As the twenty-four year old looked at me seemingly believing I did not understand her desire for marriage, I could only reply with a response of my age when I was married. I married Jeremy six months after I turned 31 and ten years after I thought I would be married. Though some may be older and still single, I use this example to firmly declare the timing is not our own.

"Erase my desire, Lord!," you may say. Yet as the clay cannot speak back to the potter, why would we fight against the One who has given such desires. If He has given, we must receive and trust that He will fulfill.

There is One who is in to you. He is completely into you - so into you that He gave His Son as your ransom. He put His wrath towards His one and only Son that you might live - live and be free, and live unto Him. Dear sister, because of this, rest assured that He has wonderful plans for your life - possibly a husband and family of your own, possibly a ministry you've wanted to pour in to, possibly a home in another country to share more of Him - whatever it be, He has you. He has your plans and will reveal them in His perfect timing. He has your future -- because He's just that into you.

An aside: I loved reading Passion and Purity and Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot during the season of singleness.

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